The Fanny Bag/Utility Belt: an Overview
Date: January 8, 2008 | Author: Rebecca WatsonCategory: General, Technology | Comments: 56 » |
Dozens of you have written in regarding the ongoing debate over whether or not it is ever appropriate or sexy for a man to wear various gadgets strapped to his belt (outside a comic book). Most of the men who have written in have done so to defend the latter day fanny pack (tellingly, I believe only one woman has done so). Evidence submitted thus far:
The Amphipod
This is just barely okay for hardcore marathon runners. Those of you who go jogging down the street for 30 minutes max do not need three gallons of electrolytes strapped around your waist, looking like you’re about to go start a major hostage situation.
Belt Pouch
Just because it’s overpriced and made of leather, that does not mean it’s stylish in the least. Awful, awful, awful. Actually, it doesn’t even explicitly say it’s made of leather. But anyway, just don’t do it, guys.
The Shoulder Holster
Oh, god, where to even start. Your iPhone is not a Glock. Your work ID badge is not a lock-picking set. You are not James Bond, you are a middle manager at Kinko’s corporate headquarters.
The Hip Holster
All of the above, plus: just look at the guy in the picture. Look at him, with his hand in his pocket. So proud. So bold. So lonely.
The Grabit Pack
This was sent in by Louis Kiss, the maker of the “anti-fanny pack” and a listener of the show. Louis gets the first and so far only reprieve, and here is why: his product is slightly manlier-looking than the “hip holster,” he made it himself, he’s a special makeup effects artist, and he’s very cute. So, I do believe that Louis could conceivably get a date while wearing this thing. However, this does not mean that I believe any man can strap this thing on and walk into a bar and pick up some digits. Probably not, actually. It’s like a Utili-kilt — charming in the abstract but loses its appeal when you’re faced with a man who is actually wearing one in public.
56 Responses to “The Fanny Bag/Utility Belt: an Overview”
By able-x on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
I could actually see using the Grabit Pack when I’m out hiking, looks like it would be rather functional for that
By Myxini on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
I must disagree with your opinion on Utilikilts. sure, they may look pretty strange on your average office worker, but on a moderately outdoorsey guy (especially if he’s got long hair) they are HOT.
By ellazimm on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
I’m with you Rebecca, utility belts are bogus.
By windmilling on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
Eureka. I was looking for something to carry my d20’s in when I go to the cons…
The Grabit Pack with my Utilikilt (http://www.utilikilts.com/) should keep me set for 48 hours. All that extra pocket space, I’ll be able to carry a little spray bottle to shower as I make that saving roll…
Just need to sew the bottom of the Pack to the hem of my utilikilt. This will look great with my combat boots.
By Rob Hinkley on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
There was a lecturer at my university who wore a utility belt. My fellow students who I canvassed on the subject were unanimous about 2 things:
1) It was undoubtedly a practical addition to anyone’s wardrobe, with myriad everyday uses.
2) It made him look like a tit.
And that’s a fact.
By Imperius Rex on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
Why not a bandolier? It worked for Chewbacca.
By chucklenose on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
I think carrying a lot of extraneous stuff around indicates that the wearer suffers from either a definite lack of confidence (”I need everything with me at all times”) or a mother/martyr complex (”if you get a headache, you’ll be glad I have a choice of several pain relievers with me”).
When I go out, I have a set of keys, a wallet, a phone, and sometimes an ipod. Four things, and as of the last time I checked, I have 4 pockets in my pants. A place for everything.
So, you can be a obsessive/compulsive geek and still NOT wear a “futility pack”!
By Scepticon on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
Wow, a more fitting tribute to shallow conformity for conformity’s sake I can not imagine. Frankly this cultural focus on whether people are part of the in-crowd or the geek squad has always amused and slightly sickened me.
Now I understand that this post is mainly for humour value so I’ll not give both barrels, but I’ll wear and do things for my own comfort and enjoyment. If a particular thing makes me just like everyone else, fine. If something else makes me an outsider freak, that’s fine too.
But at it’s heart the goal of making fun of these things is to make ourselves feel better.
Rant over, let the merriment continue.
p.s. I wouldn’t wear any of those if my life depended on it.
By jacek on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
It would take about 2 days of Brad Pitt and Justing Timberlake wearing utility belts in public for 90% of American women to start thinking that those things were really cool…
What’s your take on this little gem?
http://tinyurl.com/325ts
Jacek
By Steven Novella on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
Keep in mind, Rebecca’s alternative to the utility belt was a manpurse. A manpurse!! – the definitive metrosexual hippie accessory. Admittedly this is adequate for carrying your organic granola or for portable composting, but is not a proper receptacle for any manly electronic device.
None of the utility belt variations offered are optimal. I like the Grabit pack, it is very cool, but this is suitable for camping (as someone pointed out), or perhaps a post-apocalyptic urban environment (you know, for extra ammo while fighting off virus-crazed zombies), but I couldn’t wear it around the hospital. The hip holster is getting close and is my favorite so far (ironically for all the exact same reasons that Rebecca criticized it), but is not quite there.
So the quest for the perfect skeptical utility belt continues, unabated by small-minded naysayers and fashion nazis.
And Jacek is exactly correct – it is a supreme irony of pop culture that we need some mindless pretty boy to make a geek utility belt cool-enough for everyday wear. Maybe that guy who plays the Mac on those commercials is cool-geek enough to pull it off.
By Big Troy on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
I like both the hip holster and the grabbit, actually just tried to buy the grabbit but it’s sold out!
Im an extreme case but I carry a large set of keys, a wallet, an iPhone, an 8810 webtablet and a PSP. Yes I can carry all of this in my Jacket and Slacks, but its annoying, heavy and sometimes my precious ( iphone ) can get stuck with change or keys if I dont have a shirt with a front pocket on.
The key for me would be to have one place that all of my devices live all the time, not having to change everyting from one shirt, and pants pocket to the next everynight.
Doing all that gearing up everymorning can be a pain, and sometimes I loose or forget things.
As for the fashion aspects, who cares, Im married.
( of course that means I can only wear it when Im not out with the mrs, she would gut me like a fish if I tried to wear that!)
By Rebecca Watson on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
Aw, Skepticon, don’t hold back, give both barrels! That’s gotta be twice as funny as what you’ve already posted.
Jacek: Would you believe that I actually own one of those? Because I do. An Australian friend sent it to me…it’s currently in a box under my bed because actually looking at it on a regular basis would frighten me too badly…
By bigjohn756 on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
Scepticon, thanks for saving me a lot of typing. Except for the P.S.
jaycek, I don’t need to pay $25 for something I already have.
What I use to carry stuff depends largely on the security level I feel I need. Pockets are good but low security. A fanny pack worn in the front for medium security. A hand bag with wrist strap for maximum security.
I use a hand bag primarily in the Orient where streets tend to be crowded. I got two ‘hits’ in Hong Kong on two separate trips. Both times the street was very crowded but when the bag was grabbed but I held on tight with the wrist strap as a backup.
By adr150 on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
First of all, this Grab It Pack is nothing more than an oversized (un)Hip Holster.
B. I’ve actually seen people wearing the Amphipod …on the treadmill!!! losers
3. Here’s a brilliant idea… POCKETS!
IV. Don’t carry a lot of shit!
By Rob Hinkley on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
Doc Novella said:
A “manpurse”?
Is that’s because it doesn’t have enough pockets of the right size for the brains-in-jars you need to carry with you? Don’t rule it out because of a detail like that: you could get a bespoke one with brains-in-jars pockets.
By Imperius Rex on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
Steve:
You nailed it. Wearing a phone on your hip is not meant to be a fashion statement. Only a metrosexual male would think it is and they are far from the epitome of masculinity. It’s a matter of practicality. I think you said this on the original podcast, but women typically keep their phones in their purse. They fall to the bottom and can’t be heard thus rendering the point of having one moot.
And to the pocket pushers, carrying anything other than a money clip in your front pocket is cumbersome, uncomfortable and as dorky as Rebecca’s manpurse option.
As technology moves toward the iPhone style of consolidation, most people will only be carrying the one device anyway. Then it’s only a matter of time before further consolidation and miniaturization makes Bob’s dream of cranial implants come true.
Go Cy-Bob!
By mattdick on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
Skepticon, your PS kind of invalidated your whole post, didn’t it? You’re a do-anything-because-you-don’t-care kind of guy, but you wouldn’t be caught dead in something like that…
Steve I have to agree with you: as a kind of ruggedized camping thing, the Grabbit Pack is okay (but being off-center might be really bad for long hikes), but it’s way too large to submit to the work environment.
The one big advantage the last two have is that they strap to your leg like a 6-gun holster so you get to feel a little like Clint Eastwood, or Han Solo.
I can’t imagine a fanny pack. I put my phone on a clip on my belt. I mostly hate having crap with me, but I often have to have my phone with me, and I’d basically want to die if I had to go without my iPod for more than 90 seconds.
By Steven Novella on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
“the Grabbit Pack is okay (but being off-center might be really bad for long hikes)”
That’s why you have to wear two – for balance.
Pockets are not a solution for me, either. I simply cannot carry a cell phone in my front pocket and I cannot wear cargo pants or the equivalent to work. So it’s the cell phone and beeper on the hip until I find a suitable utility-belt alternative.
By Big Troy on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
I hate having my iphone in my pocket for scratch, dust, smudge reasons. My belt clip is Ok, but I just like the idea of all my tech and stuff in one place at the end of the day.
Just strap on my holster in the morning and Im good to go. Only problem is if I have a sales call and have to wear a suit, it’s dead out.
Still for 25 bucks it’s worth a shot. Im ordering as soon as he has them back in stock.
And yeah, the gun holster style is actually appealing to me, im a hunter and a shooter so Im used to the feeling.
By Jon Blumenfeld on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
so which one of these would a Chinese eunuch use to hold his genitalia?
Just askin’
By nfpendleton on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
If you wore two Grabit Packs (1 per thigh) and no pants, you could be a hit at the gay bar.
By Scepticon on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
mattdick (and bigjohn756 but I think you may have got it), The ps was a joke, I didn’t want (again) be the complete downer, nay sayer and general kill-joy my wife accuses me of being. In fact the shoulder holster is quite appealing and if I had the right jacket to match I would definitely be there, but then I need the right shoes…
Rebecca, I didn’t want to criticize you too much, like how your idea of biting fashion commentary is to pick out a number of apparently successful products and dismiss them with all with the flare of a quadriplegic walrus.
Or how this post demeans yourself as well as contributing the the general lowering of social discourse.
I like you, so I won’t mention either of those things.
By skidoo on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
Unless you’re on a SWAT team – and actually engaged in maneuvers of some sort – fanny packs, belt pouches, grabit packs, and all other forms of waist-luggage are strictly forbidden in the United States. Break this basic fashion rule at your social peril!
By able-x on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
Wait, they make shoulder holsters for phones? I have to wear a suit, and I live in Vegas, so that’d be PERFECT!
By skidoo on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
@Scepticon’s comments: Wow, a better example of recycled cardboard I couldn’t imagine. lol
By Tressa on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
The Grabit Pack looks like it was designed by someone who watched “Escape From New York” one too many times while playing with their “snake.”
By Scepticon on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
skidoo, sure.
I’m a funny guy, just ask any of my friend.
By MisterMarc on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
Frankly, I agree with able-x that the shoulder holster is the most practical for professionals. Very easily concealed under a suit jacket (or a lab coat, Steve), it avoids the super-nerd affiliation that’s inevitable with the other devices. Of course, conspicuously taking off the jacket to show off your “holster” is bad form.
Hey….am I the only person that noticed the same site that sells the holsters is also flogging a “Bag of Holding Messenger Bag”?!?!?!?! Talk about nerd-alert! I’m ashamed that I get that joke, but I have a feeling many here do.
By anangbhai on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
OK, everyone’s weighed in on the utility belt. What about the SWAT team/Rebel Alliance Pilot/Battlestar Galactica/Ghetto bulletproof vest with numerous pockets (available only in black) that looks like it might conceal anything from nerd gear to spare ammo to anti radiation meds?
I think a suitably black and menacing utility vest with some kind of official looking lettering on the back(maybe a biohazard symbol as well) would go further than the culturally appropriated fanny pack.
There’s really no way to look cool with any of the above mentioned packs/vests/belts unless you have been authorized to publicly sport a deadly weapon.
By anangbhai on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
Also, I think those secret service dudes wear utility belts, but their gear is hidden behind menacing black and white tailored clothing so there you go.
By mattdick on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
Steven, you make a good point. I’m debating coolness with a woman who thinks the solution is for me to carry a manpurse.
Scepticon, my missing your joke is what you deserve for debating a moron.
At least I don’t carry a manpurse.
By Scepticon on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
mattdick, don’t be so hard on yourself. (joke again)
I was caught up in the emotion of the situation so just don’t mind me.
By famulus on Jan 8, 2008 | Reply
Rebecca, while I agree that the wearing of a utility belt by a person of any gender who is not in a profession related to the mechanical arts or protective services would look a bit dorky at first, I think there’s a far more important question to be addressed: the paucity of pockets in women’s clothing.
Yes, I’m the rare woman who can get by on keys, cash, ID, and phone. These items fit in pockets on days when I wear jeans. But alas, I’m not in a job for which jeans serve as professional attire, so when I have to don the femsuit, I have to carry that stupid purse. And no, I can’t hear the phone when it dives to the bottom of the stupid purse. Or find it on the rare occasion when I do hear the darn thing.
Fashion freedom for all! Let the men have their utility belts and suffer the slings and arrows, and let me have usable pockets in my dress pants and jackets so I don’t leave my purse under yet another table in a meeting room or restaurant. (Stupid purse!)
~fam
By jamieguinn on Jan 9, 2008 | Reply
Um, let me recommend that if you have a phone holter under your suit jacket that if a cop approaches you, DON’T REACH FOR IT!!! Otherwise, you might need the kangaroo scotum bag after the cop blows your huevos off.
By skidoo on Jan 9, 2008 | Reply
famulus wrote: “Yes, I’m the rare woman who can get by on keys, cash, ID, and phone. These items fit in pockets on days when I wear jeans.”
Clearly your jeans aren’t tight enough.
@scepticon: Your left hand talks? Way cool.
By captainzebra on Jan 9, 2008 | Reply
“Clearly your jeans aren’t tight enough.”
I’m confused too…even my jeans, which are only moderately tight, make it look like I have huge cancerous growths on my hips if I try to put anything in my pockets.
Ah, to be a woman and have it be perfectly acceptable for me to carry around a purse filled with everything I own.
Also, I like how much debate this has sparked. =D
By Chris Noble on Jan 9, 2008 | Reply
It is worth mentioning that pockets were originally small bags or pouches that were tied onto a belt.
Of course this doesn’t mean that I would advocate 15th century fashions.
I thought for a moment that Barbarella might be the utility belt icon that you were looking for. However, there is no sign of a utility belt or a fannypack in any of the outfits that Jane Fonda wore. There was barely enough storage space for a couple of diet pills in most of them.
By psamathos on Jan 9, 2008 | Reply
You people are all thinking too small. The utility vest is clearly the ideal solution to all these problems.
By Scepticon on Jan 9, 2008 | Reply
skidoo,
“@scepticon: Your left hand talks? Way cool.”
Yeah, makes ventriloquism way easy.
Actually, it’s my right hand. The left doesn’t put out enough.
By Rob Hinkley on Jan 9, 2008 | Reply
Chris Noble said “It is worth mentioning that pockets were originally small bags or pouches that were tied onto a belt.”
Oh yeah? If belt pouches turned into pockets, why are there still belt pouches? If we also consider the many gaps in the pocket fossil record, it’s premature to conclude that modern pockets started out as medieval belt pouches. etc.
By blackfonzie on Jan 9, 2008 | Reply
I gotta chime in with a defense of the Amphipod. My wife’s a marathon runner and uses one. When she goes on 25-mile training runs, she (a) gets awful thirsty and (b) needs someplace to stow those little shots of energy gel she eats every four miles to keep her from collapsing into a pile of mush. She knows it’s not the coolest looking device one could wear, but otherwise she’d have to drive along her running route beforehand and stash her stuff, Yogi-Bear-style, in various bushes and shrubberies and hollow tree trunks along the way. Much better to have everything close at hand (waist).
By bohica on Jan 9, 2008 | Reply
Tut. Clearly the solution to all these needs is the Utilikilt [www.utilikilt.com]
By Imperius Rex on Jan 9, 2008 | Reply
“If we also consider the many gaps in the pocket fossil record, it’s premature to conclude that modern pockets started out as medieval belt pouches. etc.”
The FID (Fashion-Intelligent-Designers, aka the fdesign proponentsists) believe that pockets are only 6,000 years old, so they deny the veracity of your pocket fossil record.
By Brandon O on Jan 9, 2008 | Reply
First, Utilikilts are very comfortable and are a continuation of a proud kilted tradition. Also, if a kilt is good enough for Nathan Fillion, it’s good enough for me. (Yay Firefly!)
blackfonzie, Rebecca did excuse Amphipods for marathon runners. It was only dorky for short distance joggers.
That being said, something is definitely needed to hold cell phones. I hate having to carry my cell phone in my hip pocket. It tends to poke me in the leg whenever I sit down. I like the cell phone pocket on most shorts, but those aren’t acceptable work wear for most adults. I personally wouldn’t really want to wear any of he products listed here but only because I generally only have keys, phone, and wallet. My iPod mostly stays connected to my car.
Finally, Steven is right, Rebecca. You lose all credibility once you suggest something as patently ridiculous as a manpurse. It’s as bad as advocating ID.
By mattdick on Jan 9, 2008 | Reply
“Of course this doesn’t mean that I would advocate 15th century fashions.”
Too bad, I was looking forward to my first codpiece.
Rob Hinkley, you’re brilliant.
blackfonzie, I think Rebecca specifically was calling out the 3-milers carrying the camel pack. If you’re wife is running 25 miles on a *training* run, no one can plausibly argue about her methods of staying hydrated.
By able-x on Jan 9, 2008 | Reply
Chris Noble said “It is worth mentioning that pockets were originally small bags or pouches that were tied onto a belt.”
Of course, I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time.
By DLC on Jan 9, 2008 | Reply
I see someone here just needs to get to work and design a utility belt. hey, if Batman can wear a nipple-having suit, ordinary guy can have a utility belt!
Really, all a utility belt would do is consolidate all those holders, belt pouches and holsters into a convenient easy-on/off system for carrying all that stuff.
By GrabitPack on Jan 10, 2008 | Reply
Thanks for the review Rebecca! I really appreciate the comments;)
I’ve got to get caught up on the podcasts since my ipod died.
To clear up something, I’ve seen ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK about 100 times and I’m working on Brad Pitt to get to wear one. Just haven’t seen him lately.
nfpendleton’s comment had me laughing a good 5 minutes.
Thanks again!
By Nigel on Jan 10, 2008 | Reply
I have really don’t have to worry about a utility belt, or man-bag, etc. My fiancee carries a big purse. She puts some of stuff into it for me. She’s very kind.
In all seriousness, a negative view of a utility belt, etc. is all just current fashion. You want to bag a shallow chick, don’t wear such an item. Don’t care – wear the thing.
By Chris Noble on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
“Too bad, I was looking forward to my first codpiece.”
When a pair of trousers really was a pair you definitely needed a utility belt to hang your codpiece from.
By Cay on Jan 11, 2008 | Reply
Lucky for me, I’m a woman and can carry all the crap my family needs in my purse. It saves me from walking around in public with my husband wearing a FANNY PACK or CLIPPING things to his belt!
By Brian Engler on Jan 12, 2008 | Reply
Hey!! A cell phone clipped to my belt is way cool! Of course, I have noticed my staff members (all women) rolling their eyes when I’ve clipped my digital camera case on the other side . . . hmmmmm
By Eximious Jones on Jan 14, 2008 | Reply
If there is one thing worse than a guy with 3 or 4 gadgets clipped to his belt, it’s a guy whose pockets are all bulgy with said gadgets. Maybe that’s why phones are made to vibrate.
Actually, there IS one thing worse: a woman who carries her entire life in her purse. What is with the luggage?
By Joshua on Jan 21, 2008 | Reply
“Wait, they make shoulder holsters for phones? I have to wear a suit, and I live in Vegas, so that’d be PERFECT!”
I don’t know about you, but every suit jacket I’ve ever owned has had at least one internal pocket. Just sayin’.
As for manbags (not to be confused with MANBAGZ), they don’t all have to be metro weenie bags. I frequently carry one of these. It’s got a rear compartment explicitly for carrying whatever kind of gear and tools you need, as well as quick-access pouches up front for PDAs and cell phones. And its big main pouch can fit books and laptops as well, without being inconveniently bulky like a backpack.
Probably won’t solve Steve’s problem around the hospital, but for other needs it’s something to consider.
By Joshua on Jan 21, 2008 | Reply
(I’m a bit miffed. They didn’t have the olive drab ones when I bought mine.)